Pumpkin pie porridge

Pumpkin Pie Porridge
I've seen 'pumpkin pie oatmeal' for so long now, and have been longing to make my own. Every time we have any left over I mean to-last time it was used for soup and the time before bean burgers. But finally I got my hands on some. It isn't actually pumpkin, the only time pumpkin is available in the UK seems to be Halloween but butternut squash pie doesn't have quite the same ring to it. SO this is the British version... If you don't tell I wont! ;)

This tasted so yum.  I had a half day so got home early from school and had left over lasagna for lunch. Then a hot cross bun. Then butternut squash. Then   almost all of the oat/squash mix. I added more oats thinking 'oh I'll stop now' but didn't-I just kept eating. I then sat on the floor and cried and cried and then hyperventilating in a rather pathetic heap. When I stopped I rang my mum, who didn't notice anything was wrong and I wasn't brave enough to tell her. I tried the next morning, telling her I'd eaten to much and felt bad, but she didn't get what I meant. I couldn't actually eat the stuff I managed to save for breakfast (the stuff in these pictures) in the end-just looking at it makes me feel horrible.

I'm a bit stuck now. I'll try to tell her again. I don't want to make her worried and watch everything I eat or get carted off to the doctors.I'm terrified of being left alone in the house in case I just eat and eat again. This was the second day in a row I've done it. I feel completely out of control of it. I stopped eating peanut butter and other stuff and I don't want to go backwards. But at the same time I feel bad if I eat. For dinner today I felt bad for eating all my pasta. Part of that is physically feeling a bit icky to-really hope I'm not wheat intolerant..!

I feel better having written this. Brave even though I'm not really telling anyone.

Enough of my moaning and messed upness. This is the recipe  maybe one day I'l be able to make this again and actually enjoy it.

Pumpkin Pie Porridge-serves 1

1/2 cup/ 80g pumpkin or butternut squash
1 tsp mixed spice
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup oats
1 cup milk

1. Roast the squash whole for 30-40 mins at 180, peel and chop. Or use left over stuff from another recipe!
2. Put the squash in a bowl, add the spices and blend with a hand blender. You may be able to mash it up it you don't have a blender.
3. add the oats and milk
4. Leave overnight in the fridge for the oats to absorb all the moisture.
5. Pop in the microwave for 2-3 mins.
6. add extra milk if required and enjoy!

Butternut pumpkin!

(pre-blending)